Are You There, Mom?

Mom-Kid-Sunset-PhotosC’mon I have something to show you. It is so special that only you can experience it. Come on, allow yourself to go with the flow of this, just for the moment.

Let me take your hand as we walk. We are on a beautiful path with greenery and scented flowers that are startlingly colorful as they bloom. I hold your hand, if you let me, and we walk.

Please know that I am talking about the universal mother. It does not matter if the woman you called mother or mom or mama was your birth mother or your adopted mother or your chosen mother or the mother you never had yet, imagined.

Imagine you as a baby being held by mother, faint at first, yet the picture is increasingly concise and clear. You watch with apt fascination.

What do you see, experience and know in that moment?

How does that moment begin the framing of your life, your sense of yourself and the person you are today?

Now we walk a bit further and that woman who you thought of as mom or imagine as mom, she is with you as a teenager. See yourself at 12,13,14,15 years of age.

   Who is she to you then?

            Do you want her in your life at that time?

            Are you wishing for more from her?

            Is she present and does her presence feel like a gift?

As we continue on the path, we now see you and the woman you called mom, or the vision you had of her and you are now a young adult reaching into adulthood. At 18,  at 19, at 20 and even at 21 years of age, you are more aware of the world around you and how you do or don’t fit it. See yourself with this woman and imagine this.

Is she a confidante to you or do you know that she has limitations and now it is time to go within yourself to soothe and conquer your fears?

Sharing your dreams with her excites her or agitates her?

Do you trust her?

The similarities and the differences between you are increasingly apparent: what are they?

You and I, we continue walking and you are in love. It’s not the puppy love that you know; this elation is different in its richness and multifaceted dimensions.  There are so many questions and concerns you have about moving forward.

Does she listen and offer asked for advice or does she judge?

Do you care about what she thinks? Will her opinion change your course of action?

Will she sit with you (metaphorically speaking, as an internalized source) participating in that private conversation   you have with yourself as you process your thoughts? Or do you know that you have to work diligently to keep her words and thoughts out of your personal journey?

You make the decision and you move forward in your life choice for a partner. For some of you, you choose to be partnered. For others, you choose to be on your own. You develop and grow and relate in your own time. As we walk, I am still holding your hand, if you let me.

We see in the distance – who is it- oh, it’s you at the age you are now.

This woman who you called mom, mother, mama or even imagined she is standing by you, reaching out to you, and though for some of you she may seem like a stranger, she knows who you are and she sees you more clearly than you have ever been seen by her before. It almost seems as if you are coming home.

What does she see in you that she has never seen in you before?

What do you want her to know about you now?

Describe the relationship you would like to have with her. Is this possible?

If it’s not possible to have the relationship you would like to have with her, can you have a relationship with yourself that will give you what you desire?

We are at the end of our walk and we are still holding hands. You let my hand go. You are ready for your next journey. You approach a gate, open it, walk through it, your shoulders are straight, your step determined and you have an air of confidence.

There are few things in life that are universal truths. The fact that each and every one of us has a mother is a universal truth.

       

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  1. […] multidimensional. Often fraught with expectation and desire. Living through times of grief and joy, mothers and daughters are many times desperate to co-create a better relationship. The experience between […]

  2. […] and often fraught with expectation and desire. Living through times of grief and joy, mothers and daughters are many times desperate to co-create a better relationship. The experience between […]

  3. […] and often fraught with expectation and desire. Living through times of grief and joy, mothers and daughters are many times desperate to co-create a better relationship. The experience between […]

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