Bad Day?

Tough days. We all have them. You know the rainy day when you forget your umbrella, a car drives close to you as the pooled street water rushes onto your clothing and shoes and as you try to get to work, the train breaks down, making you late for work and you can’t find your cell phone even though you know you put it into your pocket as you are waiting for a call from a woman who is interviewing you for that new job and you realize that you don’t have the number to call because all of the info is in your phone and then and then

The day moves from one mishap to another. The constant array of small annoyances creates an internal havoc that won’t stop. Today seems like a day you are doomed to just have a bad day.

Laughter lurks in the background begging you to come out and play, yet the last thing you want to embody is laughter. You are grouchy and angry and annoyed at the world-

People beware- stay away.

It often seems impossible to escape the turmoil of a tough day—

A tough day is different than tough times. It is easier to deal with a tough day than it is to deal with a series of days, months or even years that culminate into tough times. The ability to conquer the unrelenting critical self-talk while the tough times take hold is certainly difficult to harness.

Here are 5 tips to help you make it through a tough day! They are actually the same as getting through the tough times. The necessary question during the invasive aspects of the day is to ask how to find a place in you that is not only forgiving of the self, but is also able to access humor.

1. Get in touch with the survivor in you. Tough times do help people toughen up.
2. The self in adversity is never met in the good times. Once met, adversity is not feared rather it is seen as a challenge.
3. If you can’t change something then change the way you think about it. Find something funny about the situation you are in. Even in the worst of times, humor can alleviate the surge of emotional pain and powerlessness.
4. Obstacles are the greatest teachers: Dance with them, don’t get overtaken by their resiliency. Assess, understand, change and take charge! This is the flexible self.
5. Turn powerlessness into power: Imagine a positive outcome, share it with others, commit to it and talk the power game.

“If you know the enemy
and know yourself
you need not fear the results of a hundred battles.”
Sun Tzu

Comments

  1. Eddie Simmers says:

    This is a great food for thought. One thing I find very little on is help getting THRU, not over, a situation that happens in and instance and changes your complete life within a matter of moment.
    Forgive me if this get long but I can’t find the answers or support I need not even from professional her.. Sounds weird but its true.
    I had a partner who has had one really bad life. When a situation arrised that he could not handle he would get himself numb on prescription meditation. Alot of it stems back to him childhood abuse among other things.
    All the “mental health” people seem to deal with symptoms but not get to the root of the problem. He would say that he was on this med or that med and it helped before so the psychiatrist wrote scripts out for him and maybe ask a question how are you doing and rarely see a counselor in between.
    One Friday night while out with friends of his who also know his family, showed him a picture of his mother whom he has not seen in 15 years. It was at his sisters birthday party but he thought the invitation from his aunt was a setup to get him to see him mother.
    For the next 10 day’s he completely transformed. Got heaver into meds, took some of mine which were pain meds…that is a long story. The following weekend he started his little slaps here and there which I took as a joke and doing several other things that were out of character for him. I tried talking to him and even recorded him in his “bad” state.
    Wednesday of the second week at 5 am he woke up and started looking for meds i guess and became very agitated, got in my face and I had him back off. He started slapping me so I restrained him then he became violent and attacked me. When I finally got away, i went to the bathroom to call 911 for a ambulance for mental distress. While on the phone with the operator he tried to get the phone away from me and she heard it. Needless to say the police arrived and took him away. I had to write a statement but in it I said he does not need jail but some mental health, none of which ever happened. They released him on a bail and he went to live with a friend.
    Under the judges order, he is not allowed to contact me. I have written him knowing he can not write back. With all that said here is my problem.
    I am totally in love with him. I studied book about anxiety so I could learn what he was going through and if a situation arrised, I would handle things differently then just doing or saying something I should not have. I feel pressured to press charges and cooperate in getting him convicted. I will not in good conscious do that because I know it was not him. By me restraining him It reminded of things his mom use to do and he went wild in defence. I should have known better but I did it to try to calm him down.
    Telling the police he needed mental help with his problem they never once took him for evaluation. Anyway, I had gotten word that he had found someone and did not want to be together so I respected that and tried to move on with my life knowing how I really felt about him.
    Last weekend I get a message through someone that he loved and missed me and really did still want to be with me. I wanted it confirmed through a specific person so I know it was true and it was confirmed just as I had requested. All I want is him to be happy and healthy. Why can’t these mental health professionals see that he has post traumatic stress syndrome and several other issues and help him to learn to get in touch with the hurt, get him on the road to healing and help him learn to deal with things when they pop their head up. I know he went through so many different abuses that are unspeakable at the hand of his mom and and uncle not to mention other ‘s over the year.
    On the 15th, we have a hearing, I will not be a part of pressing charges on him knowing he was out of character for him, knowing he needs help getting to the heart of the matter and learning to deal with things properly. I know that the love between us is real. I feel like I am being forced to do something I don’t feel morally I can do.
    I am so confused on my feelings, trying to relax and figure things out as to how to handle all this in my heart and head. Wanting to restore what we had but knowing that there has to be significant changed before that happen and then seek couples counseling to work through what happened. I am desperate for answers…….I do not know which way to turn. After this happened for about 10 days i never left the house unless absolutely necessary and then, I needed someone with me. Not because of him, I just did not want people around. They wanted me to get a PFA and I refused knowing what I did.
    Sorry to rant so much, but his is a grieving problem that I can not find anything on to help. I listen to relaxing music most of the day. Any help you could suggest I’m open to. This is important but I feel that people want to hang him out to dry when in fact that is not what he needs.

    Thanks,
    Eddie SImmers
    Harrisburg, PA

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