Edy Nathan's Blog

Wizard of Oz Series: Part 4, The Yellow Brick Road

Written by Edy Nathan on 06/24/2011 – 9:08 am -

The Ruby Slippers have been forced upon Dorothy. There is no choice in the
matter when Glenda magically adorns her feet with them. She replaces the shoes of
a girl with the shoes of an older, more mature adult. Though they fit her, she has not
yet grown into them.
This initiation is the entry point for her moving into her dark night of the
soul. In Dorothy’s case, this journey begins when her anger transports her from
the safety of home into an unknown land where she must meet her emerging
autonomous self, The dramatic change in her life is actually the death of life as she
knew it.
Her journey into the unknown is the beginning of a life-changing event.
She will never be the same. This is ok!
It is a journey that is fostered by self-doubt, a fragmented sense of self, and
fear of moving out of the current state of being. The greatest fear about moving out
of what we know is moving into that which is unilluminated, unmapped, with no
apparent direction or guidelines or rules. The anxiety and fear that surfaces while in
this current of an underworld journey pushes to shift emotional and maturational
stagnation.

At what point in your life have you felt that there were no rules, or maps to follow?

How did the mystery of the unknown feel to you?

What did you do to handle your fear and anxiety as it surfaced?

The yellow brick road, though filled with the brilliance of that spectacular
yellow, is also blinding. Often we see before us so many brick roads. The plethora
of choices is certainly overwhelming. How to pick just one? How to pick the right
one? Will it matter which one is chosen? Are they all the correct path, taking you In
different directions and ultimately teaching you the same lessons? The choosing of a
path is filled with questions and not many solid answers.
When there are no expectations for the ending then all possibilities can
occur. When you have an expectation of what you want the outcome to be, and
believe that any other outcome will lead to disappointment: negative self-chatter
will certainly be an integral part of this path. It may also stop your progress,
altogether!
To stop the negative self -chatter it is of utmost importance to replace
the chatter with positive affirmations that you believe in. IF you are saying the
affirmations simply because you are told to repeat them, you are acting as-if, and
though acting as-if can work, it is far better to ascertain what affirmations feel truly
good to you, and then to speak them to your inner soul: the one who hears!
For Dorothy, if she allows her chatter of fear to stop her from forging ahead
into unknown territory then indeed she will stagnate in her growth and maturation
process. She will be inhibited from experiencing all that life has to offer.

Inhibitions are broken when you break through fear. As afraid as Dorothy is,
she takes the exaltation and excitement shared with her from the Munchkins and
Glenda, as if they are “GOOD MOTHERS”, and begins her journey into the unknown!
Every journey we take is a journey of unknowns. We form attachments
around what we know. When is it indeed time to get in touch with the autonomous
self in order for attachment to the self and others to occur in healthy ways.

What is the most fearful aspect of taking a journey on an unknown path?

Have you ever felt that you were sure of what the outcome would be only to be
surprised that things did not turn out as you had planned?

When do things actually turn out as planned? And when they do, how does it
feel to you? And when they don’t how does that feel to you?

When was the last time you ventured out of your comfort zone?

What do you need to do to begin to tempt your discomfort by finding new
pathways?

Write to yourself about this aspect of your journey. Share your journey with
me.

Tell me about your Yellow Brick Road

Tags: anger, edy nathan, grief, self awareness
Posted in Psychotherapy, Wizard of Oz Series | No Comments »

The Wizard of Oz Series: Part 3

Written by Edy Nathan on 03/31/2011 – 9:57 pm -

The story of the Wizard of Oz takes us through an array of emotional complexities. Be aware of how you see yourself as we delve further into the next aspect of the story- Dorothy is swept up into the tornado or cyclone, as it is referred to in the book, the internal driving anger is powerful as it moves her into another realm.

As Dorothy gets caught up in the wind of the tornado, as hard as she tries to get back home to the safety of the storm door and the basement, she does not make it. The angst that she feels does not allow her to reach the safety of home until she goes through her developmental process of enlightenment. This is a process that she is unable to do “at home”, rather she needs to experience the underworld of her psyche in order to find the internal home of awareness and self confidence. A death must occur as part of her birthing process.

We are introduced to the land of the Munchkins where the Wicked Witch of the East has reigned for years. While under her domain they were kept in psychological imprisonment. The Munchkins gleefully tell Dorothy that she is responsible for killing this Witch. When she cries that she did not kill her, it is of no import because her house of origin plopped right down on the Wicked Witch, killing her and setting the Munchkins free!

Dorothy is now faced with meeting good and evil. These archetypes of good and evil, as represented by Glenda, the good Witch and the two evil witches, the Wicked Witch of the East and the Wicked Witch of the West symbolically represent the good and evil we face in our psychological and literal lives.

The Wicked Witch of the West, the surviving wicked witch, tells Dorothy that her hard work of discovery and growth are not done yet, as there are more obstacles along the way- she is one of them.

* Have you ever been so angry that you wanted to lash out?

* Who in your life chastises you to the point of that emotional outpouring?

* What circumstances in your life make you feel that you are misunderstood, leaving you with fear and ambivalence?

Finding herself catapulted into the land of good and evil, Dorothy is horrified that the house has killed the witch. Though the cheerleaders, in the form of the munchkins, are overjoyed with relief because she has killed the very witch they have feared. The killing of the witch is the killing of some part of Dorothy. The part of her that must be killed off so she can journey forth into her next personal adventure, is the child in her, the emerging young woman who is finding her own voice and authenticity. She must learn to deal with her anger as a means to being set free. She does this by stepping into her power.

She does not realize that she carries any power within her.

* Do you know how you carry your own personal power?

* How do you use your voice to speak your truth? Do you even know what your truth is?

It is hard to know what we truly feel because we have worked hard to please others as a way to just get by. When this personal protocol is employed, the psychological effects keep our truths aligned with others yet sacrifices the soul of the self. The intangible soul is colored by choices made in life.

The only one who knows that Dorothy has the ability to be authentic, self-determined and confident is Glenda, the good witch. The all encompassing good Mother! It only takes one person in our lives to believe in us. If we have that, no matter who it is, we can find our path to being mindful of our soul’s work and our souls voice! This leads to being authentic and real.

When Glenda magically removes the Ruby Slippers from the Witch of West’s feet, it is that act that declares her belief in Dorothy to have the self-determination, the ultimate confidence and the ability to conquer the journey before her.

Dorothy must get over the death of the witch before she can continue on with her journey. She must be willing to mourn the death of the part of her that keeps her from moving into the new realm of having a relationship with the magic of her soul. Ultimately, becoming acquainted with all the different parts of her emotional, physical and soulful being.

She does not know the power she carries.

* What power do you carry within you?

* In what way are you stuck in the past, unable to move forward, allowing yourself to be in the delight of your awareness and authenticity?

Write to me and share your thoughts about this journey. Try journalling about your own relationship with your soul, your emotions and your body.

How does your anger, or any powerful emotion, get in the way of your growth, your self-confidence and your joy?

What must you mourn to help move you to the next part of your souls journey?

Tags: anger, edy nathan, Psychotherapy, self awareness
Posted in Psychotherapy, Wizard of Oz Series | 1 Comment »

Wizard of Oz Series, Part 2– Anger’s Journey

Written by Edy Nathan on 02/14/2011 – 3:27 pm -

The Wizard of Oz is filled with wonderful archetypal images representing the parts of us that we all carry, better known as powerful roles that embody the collective unconscious. As we continue this conversation about the symbols in this story I hope we use them to explore the psyche and the varied emotions discussed as we go down the “yellow brick road” of life.  Please allow yourself the time to think about how each of the small aspects from this story affects you and are part of you

Let’s go back to when Dorothy runs from her Auntie’s house. She is in distress, filled with angst, filled with spoken and unspoken words. She runs away with her dog “Toto” in hand, somehow believing that as long as she has her faithful, loving dog, she will be safe. Yet, when the winds pick up, really a symbol of just how distraught she feels and a tornado forms, she tries to run back home. Her anger, represented by the tornado, prevents her from getting back home.  She really cannot go home until her anger is resolved.

What makes you feel anger? Think about this for a moment.

What is your relationship to anger.?

Do you get angry when things don’t go right ?

When someone has emotionally hurt or wronged you?

When expectations don’t come to fruition?

Of course, there are other reasons for anger, start to identify them. Begin this conversation with yourself. This conversation is the beginning to you learning how to cope with your anger while knowing that you do not need to run from an emerging tornado to be ok. When you face it, speak it and honor its presence, it does not have the steam to grow into more than a simple storm. Certainly, a storm  is far better than a tornado!

How does an emerging tornado feel to you? Does your stomach get tense? Are you more hungry than normal for you? Do you become very quiet? Are you grinding your teeth? Does your face flush? What are the signs that develop for you?

These signs are your tells, and can help to prevent the tornado from occurring. When you know that your anger is being tapped into, you have the ability to stop the movement of it. You have the power to be in the moment and tend to what you are feeling instead of letting it fester and grow into that tornado.

Stop running from your anger. Begin to identify it. Identify what fosters it identity. The archetype of your anger stems from a thought, a disrupting memory, or a feeling that holds you stagnate, lingering in a place that creates an angst of being stuck.

Know that as you explore your anger, find a voice to what is going on for you and share it, either with yourself or others, you will honor the emotion of your anger and it will surely dissipate.

On the path to discovery, hungry for knowing what comes next, you must land on the wicked witch to find a new way of being. With every death, there is a birth!

Tags: anger
Posted in Psychotherapy, Wizard of Oz Series | 3 Comments »

The Therapy Journey & The Hidden Agenda

Written by Edy Nathan on 02/14/2011 – 3:01 pm -

“I don’t remember anything. Can you please help me to remember. It is all a blank. I feel like I know something. I feel it in my body. An internal knowing haunts me to the point that at times I cannot sleep. I know that something went terribly wrong a long time ago. I cannot place it. There is not a face attached to the pain. I do not have a voice attached to the ugliness that is embedded in my soul. Yet, I can tell you that at times it tastes salty, like blood, and at other times it smells like someone who has not showered in a very long time. I can tell you that relationships are very difficult for me. There is an insidious feeling that won’t rest, knocking, knocking, knocking at the internal emotions held within for so long. I cannot rest. I cannot share anything. I feel pretty worthless. Can you help me to remember?”

She cried to me as she spoke, sharing her story and making me a witness to a piece of her that she cannot even access. It gnaws at her and creates a jagged edge in her heart.

What can I say to help? How can she access the hidden memories that have abandoned her as a means to protect her, really not meant to hurt her at all.

I listen. I sit with her. I acknowledge her pain. I feel her tears. I begin to help her help herself  by remembering those parts of her life that were good. Supporting her need to  remember those times in her life when she felt content. We need to find safety, either in her memory banks or created in the therapeutic and sacred space. The space is defined by 4 walls and a room that has heard it all and remains silent. This will take time. We must journey together, telling the amnesia demon that we are more powerful than it understands and we will ultimately win.

The conversation begins. A deathing takes place. A birthing emerges. The birth of a memory allows the death of amnesia. Not unlike Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, who held the answers to her survival in her ruby slippers, yet needed to go through the obstacles and tests, to finally be able to go home- survivors, by their very nature hold the ruby slippers, even when they are unaware of the existence of the slippers.

Tags: abuse, amnesia, edy nathan, Psychotherapy, trauma
Posted in Child Abuse, Wizard of Oz Series | No Comments »

Wizard of Oz Series, Part 1 – Leaving The Home of Abuse

Written by Edy Nathan on 02/03/2011 – 12:10 pm -

“The Wizard of Oz”, is an enticing and long lasting story that encapsulates so much about life. Join me in a series of weekly blogs that root themselves in the Zen of this story while you grasp a greater understanding of you and your relationship to your soul’s journey.  Each week a different aspect of the relationship this tale has with interpersonal and emotional issues will be delved into.

Have you ever felt like you wanted to run away? Run from your family of origin, run from your work, run  from the internal voices that push you to try harder, do better or even to give up?

That is what Dorothy did at the very beginning of her journey into her Dark Night of the Soul, as she ran from her Auntie’s house with the definitive hope that someplace has got to be better than the place she has found herself in.

What is it that makes us feel that the home we know is no place for us to be. What pushes us to run away in the hope that another path or another facsimile of a home will take away the internal pain we are running from?

In the home where abuse was experienced by you as a child, no matter what type of abuse you experienced, I am sure you thought that as soon as you got out of there all  the wounds would heal—you would finally find safety.  Then, somewhere along the path of life, you realize that the haunting moments of that home, cannot simply be wiped out because of your leave-taking.

The emotional and physical scarring that took place erupts throughout your life looking like anger, fear or with you embodying the very role you ran from, the abuser. The eruption is like a volcano that lays dormant for years, building its internal steam until it erupts, at first a little bit of the eruption takes place and then there is an internal trigger that may come from left field yet affects your very being.

In trying to understand why this is happening to you, at this time in your life, you might begin to look around taking note of the people around you, what your professional life is like,  who you have relationships with and how you are living.

• Are there any parts of your life’s baskets that remind you of the home of your youth?
• Does your current environment feel as if it is out of control?
• Are you out of control?

Time to take a breath. Be mindful that each breath you take allows you to feel “you” and begin the journey to the internal home that you want to create. You have the ability to create that sense of safety and security when you dialogue with you, the adult, and you, the child.

The child that lives deep inside of you and has never left you.

Once you begin this dialogue between these two very integral parts of you, the sense of loss, confusion and angst will begin to have a voice.

Once you meet the voice you will be on your way to the ownership of wearing the ruby slippers.

Once you try them on, feeling their power, the abuse of the past will not need to continue to erupt in the present.

Tags: abuse, life
Posted in Child Abuse, Psychotherapy, Wizard of Oz Series | 2 Comments »