Sandusky Scandal: Who IS Responsible?

 

The Pennsylvania Attorney General's list of possible crimes by Jerry Sandusky being investigated

 

What happened at Penn State should never happen. The children became marks and were read very well by the perpetrator. Many do not understand that these perpetrators do not look “strange”. If you would like to see what a perpetrator looks like, look in the mirror. They look like your next door neighbor, your best friend, and the people you trust most. Once there is a cover-up, anyone who is part of that cover-up is culpable. Stand up, have a voice, do not be afraid. Fear will keep this disgraceful issue in abundance. Be part of the resolution by finding your voice. If you see something, say something. If you intuit something, trust your instincts. Keep conversations going and always let your children know that they can come to you. It is never too late to start the conversation.

 

Abuse: Sexual, physical or emotional are the silent killers in our culture. They possess the very soul and being of our children and of our children’s children. Children who are abused are often confused between the loyalty they feel toward their abuser and the fear of the loss of attachment if they report the abuse. The children who are victimized veiled in silence. If you have children talk to them. If you were a child who was abused get the help and support you need to get through the pain.

 

A good question: How can you work with someone who has victimized children by sexually molesting them? Or beating them? Or hurting them. Did you know that 85% of the perpetrators out there were victims themselves? It is about helping them cope with and understand the abuses that they suffered. If we can help them to see the link between their abuse history and the person they have become, it is the beginning to their healing: healing and help needs to occur on many different levels.

 

Abuse is not about forgetting: yet it is about learning how to live with the grief of abuse so it no longer stops you from living a fully balanced life. The secret of abuse knows no boundaries: we see it in all cultures, it is a world wide phenomena that can potentially shift through education, honesty and the boldness of a nation of survivors to circumvent fear and stand-up with the courage of self- actualization!

Listen as I weigh in on “The David Patterson Show” on WOR Radio. 

 

Comments

  1. These guys are con artists and immediate family members are often the biggest enablers. Abusers (in whichever form) are often likable and respected in the community because they wear the masks needed to hide their actions and manipulate others into supporting them when the questions do come. They convince themselves and others (often times, even the authorities) that they are not guilty of such behavior. So, often the cycle continues. If you are feeling stuck, keep pursuing legal action on whatever basis you can (warrants, etc). If you have been effected by the abuse, don’t make choices at all costs. It will only compound issues, putting yourself, your family and innocent bystanders on an additional path of dissension and life long strife. Just as you don’t have to forget, you don’t have to forgive unless forgiving the circumstances helps you live more peacefully. It’s amazing how many family members are aware but do nothing to intervene. That can be the cause for a lot of anger! Do what you need to do to stay healthy. If the abuser or the enablers (who are equal in status in my opinion) are family members, you can sever all ties without excuse. You’ll find support elsewhere. If you are ever comfortable enough to do it, it can be empowering to confront all those involved directly and repeatedly until you get some honest dialogue regarding truth and accountability. You may uncover more abuse or learn about shared experiences, but hopefully abusive behavior ends here and begins the healing as you work through the issues and mess together.

  2. Hello, in this case I believe there were several factors that let these children down. Of course, Jerry Sandusky was the main perpetrator but all the people that knew of or even witnessed some of this abuse let those kids down. From not alerting the police and keep on it. To me the whole college football system at Penn state has some part in this.

  3. Hi Jody! Thanks for your well thought out comment! Really important to continue to spread the word of experience and learning. Hope you are well.

  4. Hi Linda- Thanks for your insights! Really important to continue our discussions about children and their perpetrators! Edy

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