Finding the True Self

Reassuring LieThe fight to find truth in ourselves is unquestionably one of the most daunting personal obstacles we face in life. Even when we believe that we are truthful, transparent in our behavioral interactions, there often seems to be an underlying motive that is kept secret. Secrets get in the way of truth. Yet, is it a secret when we are blind to what we do?  If you clearly see the affect the secret has on others and ultimately on you, how blind are you?

To be self-knowing, aware of who we are, why we do what we do and how we get in the way of our own happiness is what all the self-help books attempt to teach you. If you are blind to what you do then how do you see the self? Is it possible that if you carry, within the depths of your inner life, the secrets that keep others from really knowing you, that the secrets actually impede you from being seen? Aren’t you, then, estranged from revealing the real you? When you don’t show you, then how can you ever be in a satisfying relationship? Whether with yourself or with others?

I ask these questions not just because I am writing a blog to pique the interest of my audience, rather to share my inner emotional sanctuary. We all have that sanctuary. A sanctuary where our vulnerable and ugly questions are asked even when there may not be an answer. I ask, what is truth? What is integrity? How do we hold ourselves up to the standard of what we believe? Do we merely believe it for ourselves and have other expectations of others? I don’t know.

I just finished reading “The Art of Racing In The Rain” by Garth Stein.  This book offers you the opportunity to expand your repertoire of responses to adversity. Sensitively and profoundly written from the perspective of the family dog, I recommend this book to anyone who needs to understand the importance of fighting for truth. To stay with what you know to be true, holding on to your integrity, even when those around you are master manipulators. It is a reminder that the people who come in and out of our lives are the fore bearers of life lessons. I was surprised by the degree to which the depth of thought and reflection embodied in the text invited me to deeply think about the intricacy of the roles animals play in our lives. They affect change in the lives of the people who love them.  If animals could speak to us, in a language we could understand, the world would surely be a different place. Brian Weiss MD, who wrote “Many Lives, Many Masters” once said that when someone commits suicide they go to a place where they are cared for by animals.

I have 3 cats or I should say they have me. It does not matter how late I come home, or if I have been away, they always greet me with love and affection. Adoring, unbridled love. It can be counted on.  I don’t withhold truth from them and they have become my secret keepers. Whispered quietly into their space, I ask them to bear witness when no one else will do.  As I write this, I wonder how much a truth devoid of secrets must accompany trust?

For now, think about these important aspects of being in the true self:

  • Be true to yourself: Hold on to integrity
  • Keep your balance: This is the opposite of internal chaos
  • Take the curves with care
  • Think about what is ahead of you so you can prepare
  • Be patient: Change and growth do not happen all at once
  • Anticipate without anxiety, picture the outcome
  • Own your body, own your mind
  • You are everything.
  • The truth resides inside of you.

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  1. […] It is the “fake it til you make” game. You and I know that there are days or weeks when there is an internal awareness that joy has abandoned you. You wake up in the morning and you know that you are feeling unhappy, unmotivated and joy is the farthest emotion from your being. […]

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