Why Weight and Wait?

weightwaitOk- so we all know that the holidays give us a reason not to take care of our bodies, splurge with the “why nots” and the internal text of “I’ll start tomorrow not now”. Tomorrow or in January become non-believable mantras- your mind and your body know that you are lying to yourself, and as you lie to yourself, the pounds pack on, or your mood shifts from highs to lows or you find that you are unable to fall to sleep because of the sugar and carbs pulsing through your body.

Does this sound familiar?

Imagine that instead of waiting to pay attention after the New Year, that you can actually start it now. The time is now. I’m curious- Where are you actually hungry? I ask because you and I know that most of the time when we eat we are not hungry, at least not the belly hunger. How often is the “hungering” a desire to fill an internal emptiness, and food is its replacement. When its that other hunger, you will notice that no matter how much you eat, you just don’t feel satisfied.

I know, I know,  there is talk out there about being mindful, being present and understanding the importance of self care.  It is easy to turn a deaf ear to all of the messages that urge you to take care of you. To combat the bulge it is not about food as much as it is about your relationship to hunger.

I encourage you, in this moment, to ask yourself where you are hungry?

“Nothing was a more powerful compass of my mood or a better indication of my self-worth than the number on the scale.” Betsy Lerner

Ok- what do I mean?

Are you hungry in your belly? This is the real hunger. You have not eaten for a few hours, your belly is growling, and you use food to keep your energy and blood sugar up.

Are you hungry in your head?  The voices in your head are loud, incessant and insist you are not good enough, while an entire litany of brash obtrusive commentaries act out and speak out against you.  You find that the only way to quiet the voices is to feed them. The “nurturing” you choose is by way of food, the soothing lasts for a short time, then the demands and uneasiness surface once again.

Are you hungry in your heart? What makes your heart hurt? The relationship between the heart and desire has been written about over the centuries, Longing for partnership, sex, or having had a fight with a friend/partner, the food fest often begins here. You are not really hungry for sustenance rather you are hungering for intimacy and peace. Your heart aches, you feed it , hoping the food will numb your heart. Ironically,  there is no relief and you may feel worse about yourself after the binge then before.

Are you hungry in your feet?  You want to run. Extricate yourself from the situation you find yourself in and the fiery fear keeps you planted exactly where you are. Unable to experience mobility, food anesthetizes the feet, planting them in concrete which keeps them heavy and unable to move. Metaphorically speaking, your feet want to leave, your soul wants to take a journey and the hunger for that cannot be satiated with food.

What if you chose to have a different relationship to yourself this season and the byproduct of that relationship was actually the ability to create a different relationship to food? What if you actually allowed yourself to feel hunger? What if you were able to get through the holidays without beating up your body by eating yourself into a state of numbness and discomfort?

This year, have that quiet internal conversation that with the part of you who wants to be in control of treating your body with love.  Ask the 4 H’s questions, write your honest response to each of the 4 queries – you might be surprised by your relationship to them. Believe it! Weight can be a weighty issue, and you have a variety of choices that encourage you to interact differently with food.  When dialoguing with the different facets of why you choose to eat, your hunger may actually dissipate.

This holiday do the food feasting differently- feast on knowledge, feast on awareness, feast on self soothing


  1. Thanks for posting this, Edy. It’s a topic that resonates with so many of us.

    I lost 20 lbs last year and realized how much how much of my life-long weight struggle was driven by shame. Shame for who I felt I was, which created a chain reaction of eating to fill that void; why not? I (thought I) was fat anyway. I finally got to a point where I started having faith in myself and just did it. And even if I have that one piece of cake or bag of chips, I just continue on the path of self-acceptance.

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