What happened at Penn State should never happen. The children became marks and were read very well by the perpetrator. Many do not understand that these perpetrators do not look “strange”. If you would like to see what a perpetrator looks like, look in the mirror. They look like your next door neighbor, your best friend, and the people you trust most. Once there is a cover-up, anyone who is part of that cover-up is culpable. Stand up, have a voice, do not be afraid. Fear will keep this disgraceful issue in abundance. Be part of the resolution by finding your voice. If you see something, say something. If you intuit something, trust your instincts. Keep conversations going and always let your children know that they can come to you. It is never too late to start the conversation.
Abuse: Sexual, physical or emotional are the silent killers in our culture. They possess the very soul and being of our children and of our children’s children. Children who are abused are often confused between the loyalty they feel toward their abuser and the fear of the loss of attachment if they report the abuse. The children who are victimized veiled in silence. If you have children talk to them. If you were a child who was abused get the help and support you need to get through the pain.
A good question: How can you work with someone who has victimized children by sexually molesting them? Or beating them? Or hurting them. Did you know that 85% of the perpetrators out there were victims themselves? It is about helping them cope with and understand the abuses that they suffered. If we can help them to see the link between their abuse history and the person they have become, it is the beginning to their healing: healing and help needs to occur on many different levels.
Abuse is not about forgetting: yet it is about learning how to live with the grief of abuse so it no longer stops you from living a fully balanced life. The secret of abuse knows no boundaries: we see it in all cultures, it is a world wide phenomena that can potentially shift through education, honesty and the boldness of a nation of survivors to circumvent fear and stand-up with the courage of self- actualization!
Listen as I weigh in on “The David Patterson Show” on WOR Radio.
